101 Valentine Jokes

101 Valentine Jokes by Pat Brigandi, illustrated by Don Orehek, 1994.

This is one of those little themed joke books that I used to pick up at school book fairs and used book sales when I was a kid. Most of the jokes are really corny, but I remember finding them fun when I was a kid. Happy Valentine’s Day!

One of the things that surprised me about this book is that some of the jokes are weirdly insulting for a Valentine-themed book. It just struck me as odd that there were jokes with people basically insulting their boyfriends or girlfriends or sending insulting Valentines.

Actually, as I kid, I think I understood the point of the insulting joke Valentine cards because, when you’re a kid in school, there are rules that require you to give a Valentine to every person in class, whether you like them or get along with them or not, so nobody feels left out. Those rules make sense because teachers don’t want to create a situation a situation where somebody in class is being deliberately ignored by other students or the kids are playing one-upmanship about who is more popular than who. But at the same time, when someone else in class has been picking on you all year, that’s the last person you want to give a Valentine. You can’t really give people nasty Valentines like this (at least, not without getting into trouble), but there are times when it can be fun to imagine that you could so you can tell off some jerk who desperately needs it.

But, when it comes to people insulting their boyfriends or girlfriends, I’m just thinking, “If you feel that way about this person, why are you going out with them? Go find someone else!”

Fortunately, not all the jokes in this book are mean. It would have been depressing if all of them were negative in some way. There are the usual knock-knock jokes, jokes based on puns, and a few jokes that are told in story form or silly conversations.

There is one long joke that’s a form letter for “thanking” someone for a present. (Hint: It’s implied that the present wasn’t that great and the person isn’t thankful for it. It reminded me of one of the joke poems in The D- Minus Poems of Jeremy Bloom, and I think the poem was better.)

Overall, I think the best jokes were the kind that I think I kids really could use in class Valentines without getting in trouble. Because of all the insulting ones, though, I felt like there weren’t enough of this kind of joke.

What did the chewing gum say to the show?
I’m stuck on you.

This book does have the classic:

Will you remember me tomorrow?
Of course I will.
Will you remember me next week?
Of course I will.
Will you remember me next month?
Of course I will.
Will you remember me next year?
Of course I will.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
See, you forgot me already!

The book is available to borrow and read for free online through Internet Archive.